My fingers are bloated so is my tum and bum. He loves me only under specific terms. I’m feeling better but don’t want to be. I feel like I should suffer more but hormonally I’m getting back to normalcy. I don’t deserve it. I’m in utter confusion. I think I really need to move on is the issue here. It’s done. It’s over. I think maybe I can build from that? Gawd what if this is it and I have a life of nil? My heart is aching. I need to work my fat ass out. I’m tired of life.