Archive for November 12, 2007

vegan cupcakes

I guess I don’t really understand why I am this way? Why I keep going back and forth…? Why it bothers me to the enth dregree when he was talking on the phone to him last night. Hearing his words of comfort when I get none. That hurt me deeply. It brings up so much anger. I guess the issue is that if we don’t resolve these feelings then we will NEVER find a way together. I so much want that. The story, the guy and the gal. Love. A baby or two. Adoration. The house. The ring. Family and friends. I mean I offer up as much as I can with so little return or is just me? He doesn’t want the dream. Not with me. He uses words like forever and treats me that way but doesn’t offer for anything more than that. I get that no one is perfect and there some things to accept but maybe these aren’t them?

I hate that my email account is non-functioning. It’s driving me uberbatty. So I’ve been reading that book, Skinny B*tch. Wow, if you’ve ever felt any sort of taint towards meat or dairy this book will sign you over to the other side. I’ve already ordered up some new cookbooks. I’m ready to start the new lifestyle of veganism. Gawd, I can’t even get over how graphic some parts of that book were. I think I’ll send mom a new copy of it cuz I want to keep mine! It was concise and well written and right to the point. I bet there are a lot of HATTERS on Amazon reviewing it! I don’t want to go there. I feel good about what I read because it is true. I’ve always felt this way but somehow I lost my way. So there isn’t much for me to do right now at work. That is the reason for the lengthy post. I’m eating fruit salad. I feel good about it. It’ll be a challenge to change my ways but I think if I get cookbooks and experiment with different options??? Possibly creative ideas. I think to an extent its okay. Don’t want to be overkill but I do want to avoid dairy and meat. Make some cutbacks you know but still enjoy myself. I’d love to try to make vegan cupcakes! That’s be fun :)