I had a bunch of content questions. I sent them to her, its easier for me to compile and send them on. It writing down a reply is an issue then she can blurt it out to me while I take notes but the point is to get resolution and complete the site. Today I woke up miserable. Feeling so bad. Just like I have horns sprouting out of my skull and hatred in my blood. I saw the psp sitting on the nightstand and felt hatred for him! I don’t understand that? I mean here he is doing something nice for his son but somehow it pisses me the hell off? Why? Probably because he gives me so little. I feel abused and bankrupt with him. I don’t know. I have a nice savings account, that much I do know. It’s the first time ever in my life. I wish I was more motrivated to work at home but I’m not. I wish that they would hire me here but they don’t. I’m in the middle and gaining minimal experience to boot.
That cow somehow sneaks up behind me. Between me being deaf and her fat ass moving uber slow I guess it makes for quiet. Anyway, yesterday was a long one and well today will be a long one too. Not much for me to do right now. Just kind of hanging out waiting. And so that’s it. I have my FRUIT salad for breakfast and banana for snack but I’m having doubts although I’m totally BROKE!! So it don’t matter!
I don’t know why I feel so much anger towards him. Could it be the lack of interest I get from him? The lack of wanting to communicate. The fact that when we were out with “friends” I was trying to express something and I was hushed by him? I don’t know, it seems like I constantly pick at whatever he does. That I’m totally unforgiiving of him. That if he leaves something on the floor that I go into a mental tirade but say nothing to him. Honestly, I think I just hate him!! I don’t get it though, how can I feel so opposite then the other? I don’t get that at all. Seriously, I don’t understand how he sat there and let me go thru with it. What a support system. It just bums me out. I guess if it comes down to it and he is truly against it then I REALLY do need to move on. He’s ready to live like a kid, not have one.
